| . |
4-25-08 Married life.
So today i was wondering how my husband feels about being married to me. i know
thats a weird thought so i'll explain what triggered it. my husband and i have very
different schedules. i stay up till 3-6 in the moring, and wake up from noon to three.
this is perfect for me because the earliest i ever have to be at work is three. i usually
get off anytime from 8 till 1 in the morning, depending on what day. my husband has a
"normal schedule" right now he works a seven to 3 job. ick. so we have a funny way
of spending time together. so right now he was really super tired and wanted to go to
bed... well i, on the other hand, find it hilarious to annoy him sometimes, and was in one
of these moods. so while he was trying to read before bed, i thought it would be an
appropriate time to talk about mortal kombat. ( i was trying to find a way to change it to
'mortal wombat' and turn it into a doodle.... be looking out for that) when he started to
beg me to leave him alone and let him read. i asked him why he wanted to read instead
of talk to me, and he said that he needed to wind down, and talking to me wasn't going
to achieve that. i disagreed with him, of course, and told him that i could be completely
soothing,and then just started listing off words that i thought would sound calming. it
was basically me whispering into his ear:
"bubble bath.... candles.... lavender.... picnic..."
all the while he was trying to read his book. i don't think he could figure out whether
to hit me with his book, or laugh. after "picnic" i had myself a good little laugh, and left.
thats about when i started wonder what being married to me is really like... i really do
get a kick out of bugging him, but that goes both ways. i think it would be awesome...
and horrible.
i think it would be awesome because i think i'm really funny. plus my husband never
has to worry about me ever saying that he spends too much time playing video games.
buuuuuut i'm messy. really REALLY messy.... and i dont cook.... so i think i'm pretty well
rounded.
my husband and i actually have a great thing going. mosty because we're both
retarded. we bond over burning each other with fat jokes that we don't mean, or over
who dogbert loves more... which ends in me getting really mad most of the time. and
you know how most couples call each other "hun" or "babe" or "muffin ass" or
whatever? well we don't play like that. right now we call each other "doodle". which
is funny given the name of my website, but we've been calling each other that for
some time now. actually, we've ALWAYS has stupid nicknames for each other. hes had
way more nicknames for me, seriously gay stuff like mrs peepers, peep, tuku, too cool
for school, toot, tooty, tootsworth, tootbert, and doodle. i used to call him noo, or
noobert, bert bert, and then it switched to noodle, and eventually doodle. while i'm
talking about our stupid nicknames for each other, let me clear something up:
when i was googling a dilbert comic for a recent doodle that made fun of how boring
dilbert is, i noticed that his dog's name was dogbert. i never knew this. i never named
MY dogbert after him because i'm not fond of dilbert at all. most people say " its funny
if you work in an office," but i've worked in one before, and dilbert is still lame.
dogbert was just recently renamed dogbert. for years and years he was named A.J....
after aj mclean......from the backstreet boys.... but when i turned 17 or so, i thought it only
natural that i rename him. i picked the name brent. i actually think that name is really
cute, and it stuck for a long while, until i started working at the certain Australian
themed restaurant that i work at now, and had a co-worker named brent. by this time i
was married, so my husband and i sat down and thought of a name together. i thought
of dogbert because i called him noobert, he called me tootbert, and dogbert fit like a
glove. when i found out that dilbert's stupid dog has the same name, it was like
somone pooped in my shoes.
i love dogbert, and really don't wish that on him. i mean really, i don't just say that i
sleep with him everynight to be cute or quirky or anything, i really can't sleep without
him. which is great for my husband given that he's not a big cuddler. last night he and i
went to bed at the same time, and he decided to put his arm around me, but i wouldn't
move dogbert from between us. it was a dogbert sandwich, and it was awesome. plus
he has super big floppy ears, that double for a blindfold when the sun comes barging
his rude ass in my window when i'm trying to sleep. thats the reason why chris and i
argue over who dogbert loves more, he knows that i genuinely get mad. so i ended up
taking this picture for the next time that that arguement came up, so i could say "oh
yeah, well me and dogbert make out when you're not at home!". but now its my
favourite picture ever:
thats a weird thought so i'll explain what triggered it. my husband and i have very
different schedules. i stay up till 3-6 in the moring, and wake up from noon to three.
this is perfect for me because the earliest i ever have to be at work is three. i usually
get off anytime from 8 till 1 in the morning, depending on what day. my husband has a
"normal schedule" right now he works a seven to 3 job. ick. so we have a funny way
of spending time together. so right now he was really super tired and wanted to go to
bed... well i, on the other hand, find it hilarious to annoy him sometimes, and was in one
of these moods. so while he was trying to read before bed, i thought it would be an
appropriate time to talk about mortal kombat. ( i was trying to find a way to change it to
'mortal wombat' and turn it into a doodle.... be looking out for that) when he started to
beg me to leave him alone and let him read. i asked him why he wanted to read instead
of talk to me, and he said that he needed to wind down, and talking to me wasn't going
to achieve that. i disagreed with him, of course, and told him that i could be completely
soothing,and then just started listing off words that i thought would sound calming. it
was basically me whispering into his ear:
"bubble bath.... candles.... lavender.... picnic..."
all the while he was trying to read his book. i don't think he could figure out whether
to hit me with his book, or laugh. after "picnic" i had myself a good little laugh, and left.
thats about when i started wonder what being married to me is really like... i really do
get a kick out of bugging him, but that goes both ways. i think it would be awesome...
and horrible.
i think it would be awesome because i think i'm really funny. plus my husband never
has to worry about me ever saying that he spends too much time playing video games.
buuuuuut i'm messy. really REALLY messy.... and i dont cook.... so i think i'm pretty well
rounded.
my husband and i actually have a great thing going. mosty because we're both
retarded. we bond over burning each other with fat jokes that we don't mean, or over
who dogbert loves more... which ends in me getting really mad most of the time. and
you know how most couples call each other "hun" or "babe" or "muffin ass" or
whatever? well we don't play like that. right now we call each other "doodle". which
is funny given the name of my website, but we've been calling each other that for
some time now. actually, we've ALWAYS has stupid nicknames for each other. hes had
way more nicknames for me, seriously gay stuff like mrs peepers, peep, tuku, too cool
for school, toot, tooty, tootsworth, tootbert, and doodle. i used to call him noo, or
noobert, bert bert, and then it switched to noodle, and eventually doodle. while i'm
talking about our stupid nicknames for each other, let me clear something up:
when i was googling a dilbert comic for a recent doodle that made fun of how boring
dilbert is, i noticed that his dog's name was dogbert. i never knew this. i never named
MY dogbert after him because i'm not fond of dilbert at all. most people say " its funny
if you work in an office," but i've worked in one before, and dilbert is still lame.
dogbert was just recently renamed dogbert. for years and years he was named A.J....
after aj mclean......from the backstreet boys.... but when i turned 17 or so, i thought it only
natural that i rename him. i picked the name brent. i actually think that name is really
cute, and it stuck for a long while, until i started working at the certain Australian
themed restaurant that i work at now, and had a co-worker named brent. by this time i
was married, so my husband and i sat down and thought of a name together. i thought
of dogbert because i called him noobert, he called me tootbert, and dogbert fit like a
glove. when i found out that dilbert's stupid dog has the same name, it was like
somone pooped in my shoes.
i love dogbert, and really don't wish that on him. i mean really, i don't just say that i
sleep with him everynight to be cute or quirky or anything, i really can't sleep without
him. which is great for my husband given that he's not a big cuddler. last night he and i
went to bed at the same time, and he decided to put his arm around me, but i wouldn't
move dogbert from between us. it was a dogbert sandwich, and it was awesome. plus
he has super big floppy ears, that double for a blindfold when the sun comes barging
his rude ass in my window when i'm trying to sleep. thats the reason why chris and i
argue over who dogbert loves more, he knows that i genuinely get mad. so i ended up
taking this picture for the next time that that arguement came up, so i could say "oh
yeah, well me and dogbert make out when you're not at home!". but now its my
favourite picture ever:
now i know i don't look my best, and thats because i took this about two seconds after i
woke up. there are even fresh pillow marks on my face to prove it, plus i have no color
when i first wake up and my dark hair makes it look even worse. i just love this picture
because thats how i feel every morning... or afternoon when i wake up. love :)
but yeah, i got to tell chris that me and my stuffed animal make out when hes not home,
and it was great because it threw him off. i think he ended up saying that dogbert was
just using me for my body... i told him that i didn't mind. the sad thing is that he didn't
really think anything much of it because whenever he leaves his phone out, i take a
picture of me and the bert and set it to his background. which is one more reason why
i think it would be awesome to be married to me...and probably pretty annoying. :)
woke up. there are even fresh pillow marks on my face to prove it, plus i have no color
when i first wake up and my dark hair makes it look even worse. i just love this picture
because thats how i feel every morning... or afternoon when i wake up. love :)
but yeah, i got to tell chris that me and my stuffed animal make out when hes not home,
and it was great because it threw him off. i think he ended up saying that dogbert was
just using me for my body... i told him that i didn't mind. the sad thing is that he didn't
really think anything much of it because whenever he leaves his phone out, i take a
picture of me and the bert and set it to his background. which is one more reason why
i think it would be awesome to be married to me...and probably pretty annoying. :)
| . |
6-11-08 Finding the awesome in everything.
Holy crap guys!! its been a while since i've last blogged about anything. i don't know
how time has gotten away from me. i guess a lot of new things have been going down
in tiffany town.... and when i say "tiffany town", i am NOT referring to my pants....
although i think i'm going to make that my new nickname for ying-yangsville...along
with "ying-yangsville".... anyway, so i'm finally real married!!! i mean, i've been married
for two years now, but we've always had at least one roommate with us. well now we're
finally on our own and couple-ish. i guess its really not all that different, but now i can
go from room to the community laundry pit in the hallway without having to worry about
jesse seeing ma nakedness. sidenote: i went over two years living with the same guy
roommate, and he never accidentally saw me naked! High-five world! that was my
goal. anyway, he wasn't an awful roommate or anything, we got along just fine, but i'm
really happy to be actually married now. its not all that different, except i wear less
pants when chris goes to bed. oh and also jesse, i know you hardly ever check my
website anymore, so i figure this is the right place to tell you that you're kinda never
going to see this shirt again:
how time has gotten away from me. i guess a lot of new things have been going down
in tiffany town.... and when i say "tiffany town", i am NOT referring to my pants....
although i think i'm going to make that my new nickname for ying-yangsville...along
with "ying-yangsville".... anyway, so i'm finally real married!!! i mean, i've been married
for two years now, but we've always had at least one roommate with us. well now we're
finally on our own and couple-ish. i guess its really not all that different, but now i can
go from room to the community laundry pit in the hallway without having to worry about
jesse seeing ma nakedness. sidenote: i went over two years living with the same guy
roommate, and he never accidentally saw me naked! High-five world! that was my
goal. anyway, he wasn't an awful roommate or anything, we got along just fine, but i'm
really happy to be actually married now. its not all that different, except i wear less
pants when chris goes to bed. oh and also jesse, i know you hardly ever check my
website anymore, so i figure this is the right place to tell you that you're kinda never
going to see this shirt again:
sorry dude, its totally gonesville.
but to be fair, even though it is big
on me, i make it look much better
than you do... it deserves better.
and for everyone else, the text
that you can't read south of the
boob border there says "people
with mustaches kill people"
... now how could i not steal that?
but to be fair, even though it is big
on me, i make it look much better
than you do... it deserves better.
and for everyone else, the text
that you can't read south of the
boob border there says "people
with mustaches kill people"
... now how could i not steal that?
Done and done. so, lately i've been running into the most interesting stuff. admmitedly,
i have way more imagination than your average 5 year-old, let alone someone my age,
so i'm guessing i see stuff a little differently. but i'd like to ask your permission for
something. may i take you on a journey? I would like to take you on a tour of the world
through my eyes... i would like to show you the awesome in everything. can i do that
with you? ... good.
lets start a couple of weeks back, shall we? i was driving around with one of my
friends. we were just looking at awesome houses that we would never get to own, and
that ended up taking us into the foothills. we kept on going because it was spring and it
was beautiful outside... plus there was a whole bunch of happy cows walking around,
and i do love watching me some walking steaks. anyways, we were wondering when we
should turn around and go back... and then we saw it. at that moment we knew that
there would never be anything to top it. ladies and gentlemen, i give you:
BUTT ROCK!
i have way more imagination than your average 5 year-old, let alone someone my age,
so i'm guessing i see stuff a little differently. but i'd like to ask your permission for
something. may i take you on a journey? I would like to take you on a tour of the world
through my eyes... i would like to show you the awesome in everything. can i do that
with you? ... good.
lets start a couple of weeks back, shall we? i was driving around with one of my
friends. we were just looking at awesome houses that we would never get to own, and
that ended up taking us into the foothills. we kept on going because it was spring and it
was beautiful outside... plus there was a whole bunch of happy cows walking around,
and i do love watching me some walking steaks. anyways, we were wondering when we
should turn around and go back... and then we saw it. at that moment we knew that
there would never be anything to top it. ladies and gentlemen, i give you:
BUTT ROCK!
NEVER BEFORE HAS NATURE BEEN SO ASSY!
anyway, it was great. so today...which is actually yesterday, i went with that same friend to
go get our dresses for my best friends wedding all altered up. afterwards we decided to
go look at shoes for her. and while she didn't find anything fancy enough for a wedding, i
found the single greatest pair of shoes ever.
loafers+patent leather+maroon= my dreams come true!!!
anyway, it was great. so today...which is actually yesterday, i went with that same friend to
go get our dresses for my best friends wedding all altered up. afterwards we decided to
go look at shoes for her. and while she didn't find anything fancy enough for a wedding, i
found the single greatest pair of shoes ever.
loafers+patent leather+maroon= my dreams come true!!!
now, i know those aren't going to be for everyone, i have a odd fashion sense, which i
describe as "old lady chic", but i was trying to explain to my coworker why those were
the best thing to ever happen to my feet, i brought up the fact that when i wear them
with socks, they have an awesome black michael jackson look....and then told him that i
wanted to rock my shoes all night, and dance them into the sunlight. to which he
replied: "i'm going to pretend that i didn't hear that"... now, just so you guys know, the
guy i was talking to is black himself, his name is kenrick. so i told him that he HAD to
like old michael jackson, if not for any other reason the fact that he was black held to
that obligation. kenrick is really cool with that kind of stuff, so we both had a great laugh
at how i had just out-blacked him. when you think about it, its pretty amazing given that
i'm ...well... me, and i was able to out-black this:
describe as "old lady chic", but i was trying to explain to my coworker why those were
the best thing to ever happen to my feet, i brought up the fact that when i wear them
with socks, they have an awesome black michael jackson look....and then told him that i
wanted to rock my shoes all night, and dance them into the sunlight. to which he
replied: "i'm going to pretend that i didn't hear that"... now, just so you guys know, the
guy i was talking to is black himself, his name is kenrick. so i told him that he HAD to
like old michael jackson, if not for any other reason the fact that he was black held to
that obligation. kenrick is really cool with that kind of stuff, so we both had a great laugh
at how i had just out-blacked him. when you think about it, its pretty amazing given that
i'm ...well... me, and i was able to out-black this:
by the way... that is freaking fantastic. i
think i found my next hairstyle.
but seriously, i turned it into the
outblack steakhouse for the day. i was
so proud. i'm always in this constant
struggle to prove my street cred with my
coworkers.
think i found my next hairstyle.
but seriously, i turned it into the
outblack steakhouse for the day. i was
so proud. i'm always in this constant
struggle to prove my street cred with my
coworkers.
So, as you can probably tell already, my place of work is pretty ok with the employees
having a good time while we work, just as long as we still get stuff done. so i was
getting a steak ready do bring out to the customer, when my awesomevision kicked in
and saw that this was no normal steak:
having a good time while we work, just as long as we still get stuff done. so i was
getting a steak ready do bring out to the customer, when my awesomevision kicked in
and saw that this was no normal steak:
see it?
you might not, no one else saw it until i
told them what this steak looked like.
so let me help you out... lets get rid of
that potato there, and photoshop this
guy up a bit and see is we can't get this
looking a little more familiar to you.
you might not, no one else saw it until i
told them what this steak looked like.
so let me help you out... lets get rid of
that potato there, and photoshop this
guy up a bit and see is we can't get this
looking a little more familiar to you.
its ameristeak!!!!
i'll admit, it was a little light on the texas,
and a little heavy on the florida, but its
still looked a lot like america without my
help.
look at it. doesn't it make you proud? its
like, no matter who you are, where you
are, or what you are, we're all together,
all in this same steak.
one steak, under God.
i'll admit, it was a little light on the texas,
and a little heavy on the florida, but its
still looked a lot like america without my
help.
look at it. doesn't it make you proud? its
like, no matter who you are, where you
are, or what you are, we're all together,
all in this same steak.
one steak, under God.
and look!! thats where i live!
ah fresno, never before have you looked
so delicious. mmmm fresno.
anyway, this one is getting kind of long, so i
think i'm gonna wrap it up somewhere
around here. but now you guys know how
things look here in tiffany town...
...still not the pants version.
ah fresno, never before have you looked
so delicious. mmmm fresno.
anyway, this one is getting kind of long, so i
think i'm gonna wrap it up somewhere
around here. but now you guys know how
things look here in tiffany town...
...still not the pants version.
| . |
7-7-08 First video blog! Woot!
it might also be the ONLY video blog... i haven't really decided much. anyway, hey guys. i
thought it was high time to make an other one of these. so a lot has happened since the
last blog. mostly my best friend of over five years now just got married. it was a big deal.
i was the maid of honor and did the flowers and other stuff, and tried to help as much as
i could. and by "help as much as i could", i mean "i planned a surprise dance for her with
our other best friend".... which, i guess, makes that sentence read out as " i was the maid
of honor and did the flowers and tried to i planned a surprise dance for her with our
other best friend".... but hey, its my website. i can.. not..be...made..sense.. as much as... i
don't .. not ..want ... to....?
anyway, the whole thing was so much fun. mostly because my friends are great and we
always have as much fun as possible. the day started off at 8... in the morning!!... i woke
up, and went with dorothy to go get her hurr did. after that we all got ready and took the
limo over to the place where they were getting married. dorothy got her makeup done,
and then i had to help her put on her dress. now, this was a tiny room.. or hallway, that
we were doing this in, and out of fear of anyone walking in, i suggested that she put on
the dress over her clothes, and take them off while she was all covered. it actually
worked out great because she slipped right in, and was able to take off her shirt, and i
never had to see boobies. see, dorothy and i are super close, but we have never been
the type to say " oh, well, you're a girl, and I'm a girl, so its all good to get all naked and
prance around, and share dressing rooms in malls and shit" i have NEVER understood
that. in fact i'm not really cool with being naked in front of anyone. i'm REALLY modest.
only two people have ever seen me naked in my adult life, and that comes down to my
female doctor, and my husband. both of which still make me nervous, hahaha. anyway,
so, she was all in her dress, and beautiful, and we didn't really think anything more about
it.. until way later on that day, when i had to help her prop up her dress so she could pee,
and then found out that she had been wearing her shorts under the dress all freaking
day. she is awesome. this is us:
thought it was high time to make an other one of these. so a lot has happened since the
last blog. mostly my best friend of over five years now just got married. it was a big deal.
i was the maid of honor and did the flowers and other stuff, and tried to help as much as
i could. and by "help as much as i could", i mean "i planned a surprise dance for her with
our other best friend".... which, i guess, makes that sentence read out as " i was the maid
of honor and did the flowers and tried to i planned a surprise dance for her with our
other best friend".... but hey, its my website. i can.. not..be...made..sense.. as much as... i
don't .. not ..want ... to....?
anyway, the whole thing was so much fun. mostly because my friends are great and we
always have as much fun as possible. the day started off at 8... in the morning!!... i woke
up, and went with dorothy to go get her hurr did. after that we all got ready and took the
limo over to the place where they were getting married. dorothy got her makeup done,
and then i had to help her put on her dress. now, this was a tiny room.. or hallway, that
we were doing this in, and out of fear of anyone walking in, i suggested that she put on
the dress over her clothes, and take them off while she was all covered. it actually
worked out great because she slipped right in, and was able to take off her shirt, and i
never had to see boobies. see, dorothy and i are super close, but we have never been
the type to say " oh, well, you're a girl, and I'm a girl, so its all good to get all naked and
prance around, and share dressing rooms in malls and shit" i have NEVER understood
that. in fact i'm not really cool with being naked in front of anyone. i'm REALLY modest.
only two people have ever seen me naked in my adult life, and that comes down to my
female doctor, and my husband. both of which still make me nervous, hahaha. anyway,
so, she was all in her dress, and beautiful, and we didn't really think anything more about
it.. until way later on that day, when i had to help her prop up her dress so she could pee,
and then found out that she had been wearing her shorts under the dress all freaking
day. she is awesome. this is us:
thats david (or skipper), dorothy, and myself, and we have an awesome friendship. we
are always laughing... mostly at the most retarded things you could ever imagine, but
seriously, i freaking love these guys. in fact, this was the one picture we took without
laughing. this is pretty much what the other ones were like:
are always laughing... mostly at the most retarded things you could ever imagine, but
seriously, i freaking love these guys. in fact, this was the one picture we took without
laughing. this is pretty much what the other ones were like:
this is my favourite picture of us. i mean, none of us look our best because were all
laughing, but its like our friendship... it may not be pretty, but its us. dorothy did a good
job with the rest of the pictures, she had to take a crapload. so the rest of us had to
keep ourselves entertained. to skip and i, this meant singing the batman song and
replacing some of the words with swamp... inside joke, and one that i REALLY don't want
to explain... but we were doing this for a long time, thinking that no one could hear us...
we were wrong.. very wrong. the one person that overheard us was the only person that
could capture that moment forever: the photographer. she turned around and snapped
some shots before skip ever knew she was taking them. i saw her turn around, and
starting busting up, realizing that she was listening the whole time. honestly, i'm
wondering what she was thinking.. something like " what the hell is that?... oh, those two
retards are singing something..... is that the batman song?!?.. i better get this, it has to be
good". anyway, this is the first one. david is still singing, and i ham up because i saw her
turn around:
laughing, but its like our friendship... it may not be pretty, but its us. dorothy did a good
job with the rest of the pictures, she had to take a crapload. so the rest of us had to
keep ourselves entertained. to skip and i, this meant singing the batman song and
replacing some of the words with swamp... inside joke, and one that i REALLY don't want
to explain... but we were doing this for a long time, thinking that no one could hear us...
we were wrong.. very wrong. the one person that overheard us was the only person that
could capture that moment forever: the photographer. she turned around and snapped
some shots before skip ever knew she was taking them. i saw her turn around, and
starting busting up, realizing that she was listening the whole time. honestly, i'm
wondering what she was thinking.. something like " what the hell is that?... oh, those two
retards are singing something..... is that the batman song?!?.. i better get this, it has to be
good". anyway, this is the first one. david is still singing, and i ham up because i saw her
turn around:
then i said something to the effect of "oh my god she heard us!" laughed hysterically,
and david turned around only to have her capture him saying "whaaa?":
and david turned around only to have her capture him saying "whaaa?":
and this is the two photoshopped together because it looks better this way:
thats probably what it looked like the other five minutes that we weren't being
photographed. david and i are just dorks when we hang out. see, i think that dorothy
can get as stupid as us when she really lets go, but on the whole, she is a little more...
normal. david and i, on the other hand, bonded over video games. and it wasn't even
a " oh lets hang out and play video games together" type thing. no. we took it a step
further. it was a " lets hang out and watch each other play video games" type thing.
see, david and i respect talent in the video game world. and both of us have a lot of
talent when it comes to our own forte games. like me, i am awesome at ocarina of
time... my big claim to fame is that i can teach you how to beat the water temple over
the phone. no joke, i've done it before. and not even just from start to finish! if you're
completely lost, and can't find a key, or stopped playing for a while, and picked it back
up and found yourself in the middle of the water temple, i can get you back on track. I
did that years ago when my husband called me in the middle of a big family dinner ..
like, thanksgiving or something, to ask me what to do. it took me three minutes to get
him figured out, and in the right spot. its not just the water temple, i have the whole
game memorized like that, but anyone who has ever played the game knows that thats
the one to brag about.
then there's skipper. he can beat almost any resident evil game in under two hours,
without saving. here's a screenshot of just that:
photographed. david and i are just dorks when we hang out. see, i think that dorothy
can get as stupid as us when she really lets go, but on the whole, she is a little more...
normal. david and i, on the other hand, bonded over video games. and it wasn't even
a " oh lets hang out and play video games together" type thing. no. we took it a step
further. it was a " lets hang out and watch each other play video games" type thing.
see, david and i respect talent in the video game world. and both of us have a lot of
talent when it comes to our own forte games. like me, i am awesome at ocarina of
time... my big claim to fame is that i can teach you how to beat the water temple over
the phone. no joke, i've done it before. and not even just from start to finish! if you're
completely lost, and can't find a key, or stopped playing for a while, and picked it back
up and found yourself in the middle of the water temple, i can get you back on track. I
did that years ago when my husband called me in the middle of a big family dinner ..
like, thanksgiving or something, to ask me what to do. it took me three minutes to get
him figured out, and in the right spot. its not just the water temple, i have the whole
game memorized like that, but anyone who has ever played the game knows that thats
the one to brag about.
then there's skipper. he can beat almost any resident evil game in under two hours,
without saving. here's a screenshot of just that:
enough said. so back in
the day we would call each
other up and say " do you
wanna come over and
watch me beat resident
evil?",.. "fuck yeah i do!!!
i'll call pizza!!"
by the way david, we totally
need to start doing that
again.
the day we would call each
other up and say " do you
wanna come over and
watch me beat resident
evil?",.. "fuck yeah i do!!!
i'll call pizza!!"
by the way david, we totally
need to start doing that
again.
so anyways, no normal friendship can come out of that foundation. so when dorothy
got married, david and i got to planning the best wedding gift we could give:
public embarrassment:
got married, david and i got to planning the best wedding gift we could give:
public embarrassment:
it was our way of saying "we love you enough to ruin our image in front of hundreds of
people you know and love, just to entertain you with a dance mix of a million inside jokes
that we've made throughout the years" i love how you can see her laughing the whole
time, and trying to explain it to her husband. he's a cool guy...
.... poor thing, he's stuck with us now.
people you know and love, just to entertain you with a dance mix of a million inside jokes
that we've made throughout the years" i love how you can see her laughing the whole
time, and trying to explain it to her husband. he's a cool guy...
.... poor thing, he's stuck with us now.
| . |
8-16-08 My bad luck, and misshapen body
i am SO awkward!!!! BLLLLAAAAAAARRRRGGGG!!!!!! i am totally used to it most of the
time, but sometimes it bugs the shit out of me ... sad face... i'm constantly talking to
myself, and to make matters worse, i look awkward... really awkward. i can't help it, i
have really long limbs that just get in the way, and i never know what to do with my
stupid big hands. they are actually much longer than my husbands, and he is a good 8
inches taller than me. i'm really glad i have this website, because without it, i think i
would have no self esteem. hahahaha. well, ok, maybe its not just this website, but i
would be absolutely screwed without my sense of humor. mostly because i'm laughing
at myself 90% of the time, which is awesome because if i didn't laugh, i'd probably be
crying. i have really bad luck sometimes, and not the horrible sad type of bad luck, but
the really inconvenient and REALLY funny kind. let me explain: i have gone through
four pairs of work pants in the last two years. this is due to the short crotch life of these
pants, which i really don't get by the way. i'm not a big girl, i mean, i'm not super skinny
either but i'm not putting my pants through any sort of punishment by any means.
actually, i think it might be quite the opposite, i think that because i have a complete
lack of ass, my pants sag more than normal, which leads to extra strain on my pants'
crotchy area when i sit down. whatever the reason is, its stupid that i've been tearing
through them at the rate i have been. it was so much, that i didn' have an extra pair for
the past couple of months. i was only using one pair, and was starting to get a tiny hole
in the crotch area, but thought nothing of it, given that it was really tiny at the time. well,
last week, i was running late for work, and putting on my pants in a bit of a scramble.
mistake. i ended up hooking my toe in the tiny crotch hole, and completely tearing the
crotch to crotchdom come. so lets recap: i'm late, i only have one pair of work pants,
and i just made a woman out of them. so i thought "well, maybe its not bad, i just wont
bend over today," but of course i was wrong. i finished buttoning up, and looked in the
mirror at what used to be the back of my pants, only to find my ass crack-staring back at
me. awesome. i didn't have time to go out and get new ones, so i went digging through
my dresser for some magical cure. and then i found it! a pair of black leggings for an
80's party that i went to. so i cut them into shorts, and wore them under my pants. i
freaking macgyvered myself a new pair of pants, and no one was the wiser.
time, but sometimes it bugs the shit out of me ... sad face... i'm constantly talking to
myself, and to make matters worse, i look awkward... really awkward. i can't help it, i
have really long limbs that just get in the way, and i never know what to do with my
stupid big hands. they are actually much longer than my husbands, and he is a good 8
inches taller than me. i'm really glad i have this website, because without it, i think i
would have no self esteem. hahahaha. well, ok, maybe its not just this website, but i
would be absolutely screwed without my sense of humor. mostly because i'm laughing
at myself 90% of the time, which is awesome because if i didn't laugh, i'd probably be
crying. i have really bad luck sometimes, and not the horrible sad type of bad luck, but
the really inconvenient and REALLY funny kind. let me explain: i have gone through
four pairs of work pants in the last two years. this is due to the short crotch life of these
pants, which i really don't get by the way. i'm not a big girl, i mean, i'm not super skinny
either but i'm not putting my pants through any sort of punishment by any means.
actually, i think it might be quite the opposite, i think that because i have a complete
lack of ass, my pants sag more than normal, which leads to extra strain on my pants'
crotchy area when i sit down. whatever the reason is, its stupid that i've been tearing
through them at the rate i have been. it was so much, that i didn' have an extra pair for
the past couple of months. i was only using one pair, and was starting to get a tiny hole
in the crotch area, but thought nothing of it, given that it was really tiny at the time. well,
last week, i was running late for work, and putting on my pants in a bit of a scramble.
mistake. i ended up hooking my toe in the tiny crotch hole, and completely tearing the
crotch to crotchdom come. so lets recap: i'm late, i only have one pair of work pants,
and i just made a woman out of them. so i thought "well, maybe its not bad, i just wont
bend over today," but of course i was wrong. i finished buttoning up, and looked in the
mirror at what used to be the back of my pants, only to find my ass crack-staring back at
me. awesome. i didn't have time to go out and get new ones, so i went digging through
my dresser for some magical cure. and then i found it! a pair of black leggings for an
80's party that i went to. so i cut them into shorts, and wore them under my pants. i
freaking macgyvered myself a new pair of pants, and no one was the wiser.
so, these:
plus these:
equals my ass not hanging out for everyone to see!!
huzzah!
huzzah!
i freaking love the very first picture. thats what happened after i told skipper that i
was going to take a picture of my pants combo for this blog, but didn't want to take a
picture of me with the ripped pants on, because the whole point of the shorts was that
no one could see my ass at work with them on, so i wasn't about to bare my ass for all
internets to see ( and when i said "my ass at work" i meant no one could see my ass at
my place of employment, not that no one could see my ass "at work"....
i don't think i could acheive that if i tried). so, he said " you should take a picture
THROUGH the hole. as if the hole in your pants was giving birth to the picture"...
sold... well put skipper, you had me at "birth".
also, those bottom pictures are kinda weird for me to see, given that i haven't worn
shorts out of the house since 2002, so i don't have any pictures in them. i dont mind
my legs at all, actually i rather like them. i walk a lot at work, so they're really in-shape,
i would just rather not show them. but for the sake of making this blog all the more
funny with a visual aid, i think it makes it worth it. however, i noticed a little something
when i was looking over the pictures i took for this. that little something was this:
was going to take a picture of my pants combo for this blog, but didn't want to take a
picture of me with the ripped pants on, because the whole point of the shorts was that
no one could see my ass at work with them on, so i wasn't about to bare my ass for all
internets to see ( and when i said "my ass at work" i meant no one could see my ass at
my place of employment, not that no one could see my ass "at work"....
i don't think i could acheive that if i tried). so, he said " you should take a picture
THROUGH the hole. as if the hole in your pants was giving birth to the picture"...
sold... well put skipper, you had me at "birth".
also, those bottom pictures are kinda weird for me to see, given that i haven't worn
shorts out of the house since 2002, so i don't have any pictures in them. i dont mind
my legs at all, actually i rather like them. i walk a lot at work, so they're really in-shape,
i would just rather not show them. but for the sake of making this blog all the more
funny with a visual aid, i think it makes it worth it. however, i noticed a little something
when i was looking over the pictures i took for this. that little something was this:
okay..... what the eff? why are my arms backwards? see, i thought i was gonna take
a cute little picture with my arms out as if i were saying "look what i did!"... but it
looks more like "i'm an abomination!!". i've always known that my arms bend back
more than normal when i spread them out like that, but i had no idea that it looked
like my arms were put on upside down.
so there you go world, lets all take a moment out to laugh at my misshapen body, so
its not just me doing it :).
a cute little picture with my arms out as if i were saying "look what i did!"... but it
looks more like "i'm an abomination!!". i've always known that my arms bend back
more than normal when i spread them out like that, but i had no idea that it looked
like my arms were put on upside down.
so there you go world, lets all take a moment out to laugh at my misshapen body, so
its not just me doing it :).
| . |
9-02-08 Me and my friends are awesomely stupid.
i had this last saturday off, which never happens unless i request it, so i was pretty
stoked. so i planned up a day of hanging out with all of my closest friends. now, most
young people would have a saturday off and spend it drinking, or partying, or trying
to get sum of dat ass. what did me and my friends do? well, i'm about to tell you... but
i warn you, its not going to be pretty....
well, at first dorothy and i hung out watching tv, then skipper came up. dorothy had to
go check something out on her computer, and left a slinky out on the table. so skip
and i flocked to the slinky like it was not a slinky. I said something along the lines of
"if only there were some stairs around here..." then we both realized that we had to
climb stairs to get into dorothy's house. so skipper grabbed my camera, i grabbed
the slinky, and we bolted.
stoked. so i planned up a day of hanging out with all of my closest friends. now, most
young people would have a saturday off and spend it drinking, or partying, or trying
to get sum of dat ass. what did me and my friends do? well, i'm about to tell you... but
i warn you, its not going to be pretty....
well, at first dorothy and i hung out watching tv, then skipper came up. dorothy had to
go check something out on her computer, and left a slinky out on the table. so skip
and i flocked to the slinky like it was not a slinky. I said something along the lines of
"if only there were some stairs around here..." then we both realized that we had to
climb stairs to get into dorothy's house. so skipper grabbed my camera, i grabbed
the slinky, and we bolted.
...and of course, dorothy's
slinky tackled those stairs like
it was not a slinky...
it just fell down them...
biggest letdown ever.
i've never had my heart broken by metal before that day...
anyway, dorothy got done with stuff on her computer, and came out with some board
games that we were going to play when her husband came home, and my friend
cynthia came over. now, once again, most people would look at the choice of games
and go straight for scattegories, what did we go for? barrel of monkeys! so we
looked at the instructions, noticed it said to "best your best time", and decided that
we were going to do just that. so i dumped out the monkeys on the table, and
frantically started picking them up. only, i got a little too free and easy with my last
monkey, and... well.... this happened:
anyway, dorothy got done with stuff on her computer, and came out with some board
games that we were going to play when her husband came home, and my friend
cynthia came over. now, once again, most people would look at the choice of games
and go straight for scattegories, what did we go for? barrel of monkeys! so we
looked at the instructions, noticed it said to "best your best time", and decided that
we were going to do just that. so i dumped out the monkeys on the table, and
frantically started picking them up. only, i got a little too free and easy with my last
monkey, and... well.... this happened:
It picked up my camera!!!! with its legs!!!!
but then i remembered that i was supposed to be besting my best time, and decided
the show must go on:
but then i remembered that i was supposed to be besting my best time, and decided
the show must go on:
i continued to link the monkeys
with the camera string. which was
the most unstable thing ever
given that it was swinging the
weight of my camera around. i
couldn't get a still picture of it.
with the camera string. which was
the most unstable thing ever
given that it was swinging the
weight of my camera around. i
couldn't get a still picture of it.
i actually got down to two
monkeys at one point.
now if that isn't besting
my best time, i don't know
what is.
monkeys at one point.
now if that isn't besting
my best time, i don't know
what is.
we ended up giving up on the monkeys after this last shot, and played scattergories
until dorothy and brian went to bed. then cyn, skip, and i went up to the casino. now,
i know that sounds like normal adult fun, but we only gambled fo like 5 minutes before
cyn and i realized that our old co-worker was working in the restaurant section. i
don't think i can get away with not describing our old co-worker. his name is shiraz,
and he is an arminian from lebanon, he has only just learned english in the last 5
years or so since he's been in america, and he is awesome. he was my favorite
person to work with because of how mad he got, his english, plus he was just
hilarious, and fun to make fun of. basically, to make a shiraz, take one part borat, one
part balki from perfect strangers, and one part anger and mix it together with a pinch
of cockiness. so we got to eat in his section, and when it came time for us to pay out,
we wrote him an note on the receipt. we were trying to figure out what to write, and
decided that "we heart you shiraz" would be fine. we actually drew out the heart, and
then i said that he might not know was our american symbol for a heart is, so we made
another note that said "we (picture of a camel) you shiraz"... perfect.
so when we got done with eating, i made a joke about sitting in skippers truck, and
looking at stars...only we were in cynthia's car. but we decided to try an find a park or
something on our way through the foothills. then she noticed that we were passing
"lost lake", so we turned in to the drive , and made our way. well, this was around
midnight, and there was no moon, so it was really dark , and really scarey. especially
given the fact that there was no light, and there was some large man holding
something big, and just looking into the lake.... not moving... being creepy... we
decided that was our time to leave. but not before skipper told us the story of how at
lost lake "three sexy teens were murdered a hundred years ago, on this same night".
it was great. so, we got back into town and went to a safer park. now, most young
people wouldn't be at the park to begin with, but if they were they would be drinking
in the park at midnight, or doing it in the park at midnight. what did we do? we made
shadow puppets in the park, at midnight.. shadow puppets.... of dinosaurs... while
singing the jarassic park theme song.
so what did we learn today? most likely nothing. but if anything you've learned that
A: i'm really lame
B: my friends are equally as lame
C: I'm easily amused
D: how to make a shiraz
E: not to go to lost lake at night, unless you want to get haunted by the ghosts of
three sexy teens.
until dorothy and brian went to bed. then cyn, skip, and i went up to the casino. now,
i know that sounds like normal adult fun, but we only gambled fo like 5 minutes before
cyn and i realized that our old co-worker was working in the restaurant section. i
don't think i can get away with not describing our old co-worker. his name is shiraz,
and he is an arminian from lebanon, he has only just learned english in the last 5
years or so since he's been in america, and he is awesome. he was my favorite
person to work with because of how mad he got, his english, plus he was just
hilarious, and fun to make fun of. basically, to make a shiraz, take one part borat, one
part balki from perfect strangers, and one part anger and mix it together with a pinch
of cockiness. so we got to eat in his section, and when it came time for us to pay out,
we wrote him an note on the receipt. we were trying to figure out what to write, and
decided that "we heart you shiraz" would be fine. we actually drew out the heart, and
then i said that he might not know was our american symbol for a heart is, so we made
another note that said "we (picture of a camel) you shiraz"... perfect.
so when we got done with eating, i made a joke about sitting in skippers truck, and
looking at stars...only we were in cynthia's car. but we decided to try an find a park or
something on our way through the foothills. then she noticed that we were passing
"lost lake", so we turned in to the drive , and made our way. well, this was around
midnight, and there was no moon, so it was really dark , and really scarey. especially
given the fact that there was no light, and there was some large man holding
something big, and just looking into the lake.... not moving... being creepy... we
decided that was our time to leave. but not before skipper told us the story of how at
lost lake "three sexy teens were murdered a hundred years ago, on this same night".
it was great. so, we got back into town and went to a safer park. now, most young
people wouldn't be at the park to begin with, but if they were they would be drinking
in the park at midnight, or doing it in the park at midnight. what did we do? we made
shadow puppets in the park, at midnight.. shadow puppets.... of dinosaurs... while
singing the jarassic park theme song.
so what did we learn today? most likely nothing. but if anything you've learned that
A: i'm really lame
B: my friends are equally as lame
C: I'm easily amused
D: how to make a shiraz
E: not to go to lost lake at night, unless you want to get haunted by the ghosts of
three sexy teens.
| . |
11-24-08 The bane of my internet existence.
hey guys, i know its been a while, and i'm super sorry. i also know that i've been
promising an certain webstore to be open that isn't, and i'm even more sorry for
that. i'm more sorry because that means i'm still working on the fucker. i only have
one word to say about that : GRRR. but i won't bore you about the details, just know
that i'm working hard, and it'll be up when i can get it up. until then, consider my
feathers ruffled... to say the least... the fuckin least...fuck.
you'll notice that i haven't blogged in a bit as well, this is due to my new found hate
of everything computer, so let me catch you guys up. First of all, halloween
happened. that was kinda fun. i had to work though, and that was total lamesville.
but we got to dress up, and that made everything better. kinda. last year was cool, i
worked, and dressed up like velma from scooby doo. now, the only people that
come in to eat on halloween are people who dont care about/don't like halloween.
last year it was a bunch of old people, who grew up on scooby doo, so they loved
me. this year i wasn't something ancient as eff, so everyone hated me. everyone
was grumpy, and pissed off that we were all dressed up. it was swell. let me
back-track for a bit. i have to wear glasses at all time. can't take them off, or else
my eyes get fuck up..and i can't even wear contacts. so when i dress up for
halloween, i try and think about something that works with glasses. velma was
perfect, but i couldn't think of anything this year, and i never want to be that person
that is a flapper- with glasses, or a wizard-with glasses, or anything. i think the
glasses just ruin the whole effect. so i was wondering what i should be... and was
still wondering the week of halloween. i was just going to be a ghost, y'know just a
sheet with holes cut-out for the eyes, and i was just going to put my glasses on over
that. i think i might still do that next year, because thats freaking classic, but this
year i thought of something better. i was telling my friend that i wanted to be link,
but the whole glasses thing ruined that. she asked me how it would ruin it, and i
answered with " it'll make me look all nerdy".... then it hit me, and i went out the next
day, and got the most fitting costume ever:
promising an certain webstore to be open that isn't, and i'm even more sorry for
that. i'm more sorry because that means i'm still working on the fucker. i only have
one word to say about that : GRRR. but i won't bore you about the details, just know
that i'm working hard, and it'll be up when i can get it up. until then, consider my
feathers ruffled... to say the least... the fuckin least...fuck.
you'll notice that i haven't blogged in a bit as well, this is due to my new found hate
of everything computer, so let me catch you guys up. First of all, halloween
happened. that was kinda fun. i had to work though, and that was total lamesville.
but we got to dress up, and that made everything better. kinda. last year was cool, i
worked, and dressed up like velma from scooby doo. now, the only people that
come in to eat on halloween are people who dont care about/don't like halloween.
last year it was a bunch of old people, who grew up on scooby doo, so they loved
me. this year i wasn't something ancient as eff, so everyone hated me. everyone
was grumpy, and pissed off that we were all dressed up. it was swell. let me
back-track for a bit. i have to wear glasses at all time. can't take them off, or else
my eyes get fuck up..and i can't even wear contacts. so when i dress up for
halloween, i try and think about something that works with glasses. velma was
perfect, but i couldn't think of anything this year, and i never want to be that person
that is a flapper- with glasses, or a wizard-with glasses, or anything. i think the
glasses just ruin the whole effect. so i was wondering what i should be... and was
still wondering the week of halloween. i was just going to be a ghost, y'know just a
sheet with holes cut-out for the eyes, and i was just going to put my glasses on over
that. i think i might still do that next year, because thats freaking classic, but this
year i thought of something better. i was telling my friend that i wanted to be link,
but the whole glasses thing ruined that. she asked me how it would ruin it, and i
answered with " it'll make me look all nerdy".... then it hit me, and i went out the next
day, and got the most fitting costume ever:
| I WAS A FA'REAL NERD!!!!!!!!!! |
it was awesome!!! i had a spinner hat, and high wadder pants that went up above my
belly button, and a fanny pack, and freckles annnnnnddddd!!:::::
belly button, and a fanny pack, and freckles annnnnnddddd!!:::::
a freaking wedgie!!!
those are my initials
on my undies by the
by. i thought was a
spendid touch.
honestly, i don't
how my tables didn't
love me... i even
went out and
bought some magik
the gathering cards,
and put them in the
check presenters
when i gave people
their bills. but
customers hated
me!!! they didn't say
a damn thing about
it, and acted as if i
wasn't dressed up!!
i mean, i could
understand if they
knew me and knew i
really am a big nerd
and just thought
they'd ignore my
costume to be
funny, and ask "why
didn't you dress
up", but these
people weren't that
clever... they were
just shitty.
those are my initials
on my undies by the
by. i thought was a
spendid touch.
honestly, i don't
how my tables didn't
love me... i even
went out and
bought some magik
the gathering cards,
and put them in the
check presenters
when i gave people
their bills. but
customers hated
me!!! they didn't say
a damn thing about
it, and acted as if i
wasn't dressed up!!
i mean, i could
understand if they
knew me and knew i
really am a big nerd
and just thought
they'd ignore my
costume to be
funny, and ask "why
didn't you dress
up", but these
people weren't that
clever... they were
just shitty.
but all my co-workers loved it. and i want to get a little more bang for my buck on the
costume, so heres more of it:
costume, so heres more of it:
freckles!
wedgie!!
(and ewok...
i forgot
about that)
(and ewok...
i forgot
about that)
| super glasses adjusting powers!!! |
I was told that i had the second best costume... behind this guy:
| the guy on the left is a waiter named adam, and dressed like the guy on the right, who is a cook named chris( also known as making meat awesome man!). i was flabberghasted!!! we thought chris was out on the floor all night because adam looked so much like him. he didn't tell anyone he was doing it, he just showed up like that!!! it was hilarious. |
that was basically the night. servers were fun. tables were canned doo-doo.
now, my mother was told that i was to be born on halloween. but i wasn't. i was born
two days after, on the day of the dead. i started life off pretty metal, right?
so that means i just had a birthday as well. my heathen 21st birthday. which was just a
normal birthday for me... i didn't really do anything. i know, i know, "WHAT?!! you didn't
go out and get totally fuckin smashed?!?!?@?@!?#?#?$12/?!!?" no, i didn't. for two
reasons:
1) I was startin' to get really sick. its a great thing that i didn't drink because i still
ended up coughing and sneezing up straight up BLOODY ASS BLOOD for like five days
in a row. i had wicked throat and sinus infection or something. i don't have insurance,
so i'll never know, but my throat had little white spots all over it, and i had all this
horrible pressure in my head that only got better when i sneezed out blood... or it got
worse when i sneezed out blood... it was a toss-up, but either way- I WAS SNEEZING UP
BLOOD!! who does that?!?!
2) I don't drink. thats the main reason. i just don't. i live a very tame life. never been
drunk, or high, and i've only ever had sex with one guy, and i'm married to him. i guess
i wasn't really planning on letting you guys know that... and now i feel kinda weird... i
don't know. i guess i feel like you might not think i'm "as cool" or whatever because i
of how lame i really am. i feel like people judge you more for not drinking than for
drinking too much. but its the same ol me. i can still be funny and cool...ok, i was
never cool, but i can still be whatever i am. and don't worry, i'm not one of those super
judgey people who curse everyone who drinks. my friends all will have an occasional
drink, and i'm cool with it. hell, i'll even drive them home. i just choose not to. mostly
everyone drinks in my family, and starts drinking at an early age, but i have a lot of self
control. ive been with my husband for 7 years now, and he smokes all the time, but i've
never picked it up. i love him and look up to him and see him as my other half and
want to share every part of my life with him, and yet have never picked up smoking,
even though i'm around it everyday. i have a lot of will-power. which is strange. I
don't judge my family at all. in fact a part of me aches to be like them because they all
have a kinship that i feel i will never know. they all laugh and love together, and seem
so happy to be in that euphoric state together as-well- a family. i just fear that if i start
down that road, i'll lose the self control that i hold on to so dearly. it really sucks too,
because it really cuts into my relationships with them... i don't know, i guess it really
comes down to....wait...
whoah!!!
wait- this is supposed to be a funny website. when did i get so serious!!?!!? sorry
guys!?!
poop.
there back on track. what else, what else? OH! I went to my first renaissance faire!!!!
now, my mother was told that i was to be born on halloween. but i wasn't. i was born
two days after, on the day of the dead. i started life off pretty metal, right?
so that means i just had a birthday as well. my heathen 21st birthday. which was just a
normal birthday for me... i didn't really do anything. i know, i know, "WHAT?!! you didn't
go out and get totally fuckin smashed?!?!?@?@!?#?#?$12/?!!?" no, i didn't. for two
reasons:
1) I was startin' to get really sick. its a great thing that i didn't drink because i still
ended up coughing and sneezing up straight up BLOODY ASS BLOOD for like five days
in a row. i had wicked throat and sinus infection or something. i don't have insurance,
so i'll never know, but my throat had little white spots all over it, and i had all this
horrible pressure in my head that only got better when i sneezed out blood... or it got
worse when i sneezed out blood... it was a toss-up, but either way- I WAS SNEEZING UP
BLOOD!! who does that?!?!
2) I don't drink. thats the main reason. i just don't. i live a very tame life. never been
drunk, or high, and i've only ever had sex with one guy, and i'm married to him. i guess
i wasn't really planning on letting you guys know that... and now i feel kinda weird... i
don't know. i guess i feel like you might not think i'm "as cool" or whatever because i
of how lame i really am. i feel like people judge you more for not drinking than for
drinking too much. but its the same ol me. i can still be funny and cool...ok, i was
never cool, but i can still be whatever i am. and don't worry, i'm not one of those super
judgey people who curse everyone who drinks. my friends all will have an occasional
drink, and i'm cool with it. hell, i'll even drive them home. i just choose not to. mostly
everyone drinks in my family, and starts drinking at an early age, but i have a lot of self
control. ive been with my husband for 7 years now, and he smokes all the time, but i've
never picked it up. i love him and look up to him and see him as my other half and
want to share every part of my life with him, and yet have never picked up smoking,
even though i'm around it everyday. i have a lot of will-power. which is strange. I
don't judge my family at all. in fact a part of me aches to be like them because they all
have a kinship that i feel i will never know. they all laugh and love together, and seem
so happy to be in that euphoric state together as-well- a family. i just fear that if i start
down that road, i'll lose the self control that i hold on to so dearly. it really sucks too,
because it really cuts into my relationships with them... i don't know, i guess it really
comes down to....wait...
whoah!!!
wait- this is supposed to be a funny website. when did i get so serious!!?!!? sorry
guys!?!
poop.
there back on track. what else, what else? OH! I went to my first renaissance faire!!!!
It was heaven on
earth!!! i've never
felt so cool!!! and
and and- i got
invited into a guild!
an archery guild!!
i'm not going to join,
because i don't want
to drive to different
towns just for faires.
but i do want to get
a bow now. i was
good at it!! i guess
all those years of
gushing over link
really paid off, eh?
earth!!! i've never
felt so cool!!! and
and and- i got
invited into a guild!
an archery guild!!
i'm not going to join,
because i don't want
to drive to different
towns just for faires.
but i do want to get
a bow now. i was
good at it!! i guess
all those years of
gushing over link
really paid off, eh?
other than that i haven't been up to much.... wow, so i just admitted that i don't drink,
AND admitted to going to a renaissance faire.... goodbye half of my fans!!!
.....hello three hundred more pounds!!
AND admitted to going to a renaissance faire.... goodbye half of my fans!!!
.....hello three hundred more pounds!!