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| Contact/bloggin it up... all in your face. |
| So, this is where I'll be talking about cool things, maybe a little blog here or there, but overall this is where to get in touch with me. e-mail me @ tiffany@tiffadoodles.com . |
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1-12-09 The haircut blog! brought to you in WIDESCREEEEEEN!
hellllllooooo all you beautiful people! how we all doing today? good? good. i have been working a shit-ton
lately, and have had no time for anything. but now here we are... time.... time enough for a blog.... i've missed
you guys.
so. as you may have heard, i just got my hair cut. its been over a year. now, i didn't just let my hair grow for a
year, that would be insane given that my hair grows faster than.... your face...? sorry guys, i just woke up, and
lack the capacity for a decent funny comparison. anyways, as i was saying, i didn't just let it grow, i did cut it
myself a few times, but this was the first time that i GOT it cut. big difference. one is me in my room with a
pair of orange handled handy scissors, and one is me having to pay for a haircut. i know that sounds really
cheap of me, but my hair is wavy, and if i cut it myself, you cant tell. so the last time i got my hair cut, i had the
girl layer it. which turned out awesome. ( i also had her give me bangs which turned me into a cartoon for the
five months it took them to grow out... in fact i blogged about that a little less than a year ago... i didn't make
that mistake again) so, as my hair became ridiculously long, i would just cut off the bottom layer. well,
recently, my hair had gotten down to my ass, and i had no more layers to cut off, and it made my hair look
really heavy, so i decided it was that time of year for a cut.
the day before i got my hair cut, i woke up and got ready to go out for the day and noticed that my hair looked
better than it had in months! i thought it was like my hair saying " see? look- i can be good, don't cut me! i'll
be awesome for you!" which was adorable.... i still cut it.... but my hair did remind me to take pictures of how
long it got, and how awesome it looked that day before i chopped a lot of it off:
lately, and have had no time for anything. but now here we are... time.... time enough for a blog.... i've missed
you guys.
so. as you may have heard, i just got my hair cut. its been over a year. now, i didn't just let my hair grow for a
year, that would be insane given that my hair grows faster than.... your face...? sorry guys, i just woke up, and
lack the capacity for a decent funny comparison. anyways, as i was saying, i didn't just let it grow, i did cut it
myself a few times, but this was the first time that i GOT it cut. big difference. one is me in my room with a
pair of orange handled handy scissors, and one is me having to pay for a haircut. i know that sounds really
cheap of me, but my hair is wavy, and if i cut it myself, you cant tell. so the last time i got my hair cut, i had the
girl layer it. which turned out awesome. ( i also had her give me bangs which turned me into a cartoon for the
five months it took them to grow out... in fact i blogged about that a little less than a year ago... i didn't make
that mistake again) so, as my hair became ridiculously long, i would just cut off the bottom layer. well,
recently, my hair had gotten down to my ass, and i had no more layers to cut off, and it made my hair look
really heavy, so i decided it was that time of year for a cut.
the day before i got my hair cut, i woke up and got ready to go out for the day and noticed that my hair looked
better than it had in months! i thought it was like my hair saying " see? look- i can be good, don't cut me! i'll
be awesome for you!" which was adorable.... i still cut it.... but my hair did remind me to take pictures of how
long it got, and how awesome it looked that day before i chopped a lot of it off:
now, don't pay attention to my grown out
roots, i'm letting my natural hair color
grow out. its already about six inches
along... which only took three and a half
months. but look at how long it got!!! it
actualy made me kinda sad to cut it,
because i've always loved my hair best
when its a little too long. so i didn't cut
much off the length, i just layered it.... but
as i took this picture, it inspired me to do
this blog, and show you all of the other
awesome things i could do with my hair
when it was this lengthy:
roots, i'm letting my natural hair color
grow out. its already about six inches
along... which only took three and a half
months. but look at how long it got!!! it
actualy made me kinda sad to cut it,
because i've always loved my hair best
when its a little too long. so i didn't cut
much off the length, i just layered it.... but
as i took this picture, it inspired me to do
this blog, and show you all of the other
awesome things i could do with my hair
when it was this lengthy:
I bring you:
| Tiffany's guide to hair, for retards! |
first, you must think of your hair as being no different than your gloves, or sweater, or in my case-blanket.
it is a source of warmth. lets go over how to use your hair as such:
it is a source of warmth. lets go over how to use your hair as such:
look at this girl. doesn"t she
look smart? she adjusts
those nerd girl glasses with
a sense of confidence
knowing that the harsh
california winter is not
getting her down. in this
case, she is using her hair as
the classic turtle neck.
bringing both volume, and
class to an already sharp
outfit. but if you don't feel
like layering your outfit in
such a bulky way, lets go
over some others.
look smart? she adjusts
those nerd girl glasses with
a sense of confidence
knowing that the harsh
california winter is not
getting her down. in this
case, she is using her hair as
the classic turtle neck.
bringing both volume, and
class to an already sharp
outfit. but if you don't feel
like layering your outfit in
such a bulky way, lets go
over some others.
The scarf:
a good scarf is a
great way to and an
extra flare to your
outfit, and keep your
neck warm at the
same time.
... hair scarves are no
different.
great way to and an
extra flare to your
outfit, and keep your
neck warm at the
same time.
... hair scarves are no
different.
The nip curtain:
ladies, we all know the feeling of
wondering if everyone can notice
that your nips are standing at
attention. well they can!
but with the nip curtain, you no
longer have to suffer through
trying to hide your pointage with
one arm, while trying to adjust your
purse strap to fit over the other.
feel free to roam about the frozen
food aisle for hours, even though
you've already found you fill of lean
pockets.
i give you- freedom!
wondering if everyone can notice
that your nips are standing at
attention. well they can!
but with the nip curtain, you no
longer have to suffer through
trying to hide your pointage with
one arm, while trying to adjust your
purse strap to fit over the other.
feel free to roam about the frozen
food aisle for hours, even though
you've already found you fill of lean
pockets.
i give you- freedom!
The russian guhzongas:
ladies, ladies, ladies, how many times have
you found yourself thinking
"gosh, i sure with i had myself a pair of huge
rockin' knockers."?
and we all know how costly surgery can be.
but now theres an all natural way to add a
few inches to those sweater puppets,
without taking inches away from your wallet.
just shove some extra hair in there and
you'll have the guys objectifying you in no
time!!!
you found yourself thinking
"gosh, i sure with i had myself a pair of huge
rockin' knockers."?
and we all know how costly surgery can be.
but now theres an all natural way to add a
few inches to those sweater puppets,
without taking inches away from your wallet.
just shove some extra hair in there and
you'll have the guys objectifying you in no
time!!!
The Faux incher:
now guys, don't think i left you out of this. i know
metal heads world wide have their hair grown out
for maximum head bangery. but why not put that
hair to good use off the stage? with the faux incher,
you're just a few smelly locks away from adding
length and girth to your meat market window. its
just as easy as putting your hand down your pants!!
(in the case of non-metal heads, or metal heads that
have sold out and cut off their locks of power, feel
free to use your girlfriends hair for some extra
bulge. the look of surprise on her face will be all the
permission you need when shes face to crotch with
results!)
metal heads world wide have their hair grown out
for maximum head bangery. but why not put that
hair to good use off the stage? with the faux incher,
you're just a few smelly locks away from adding
length and girth to your meat market window. its
just as easy as putting your hand down your pants!!
(in the case of non-metal heads, or metal heads that
have sold out and cut off their locks of power, feel
free to use your girlfriends hair for some extra
bulge. the look of surprise on her face will be all the
permission you need when shes face to crotch with
results!)
The pancake plumper:
for all those poor, poor people who lack an ass (like
myself) you've probably struggled with keeping your
pants up. you've probably thought "I would punch a
baby for a little rump repair."... i know i would!
well now theres no need to punch babies! (unless you
just really don't like kids)... (also like myself!)
with the pancake plumper, you're one itchy ass crack
away from finally looking good in slacks!
myself) you've probably struggled with keeping your
pants up. you've probably thought "I would punch a
baby for a little rump repair."... i know i would!
well now theres no need to punch babies! (unless you
just really don't like kids)... (also like myself!)
with the pancake plumper, you're one itchy ass crack
away from finally looking good in slacks!
The europit:
if you're like most americans, you think that
europe is the mother of fashion trends. well
fatty, now even you can be like the snootiest
of french women.
europe is the mother of fashion trends. well
fatty, now even you can be like the snootiest
of french women.
The yosemite sam:
now, i don't know about you
guys, but sometimes my
upper lip gets mighty
lonesome. its nice to know
that i too can molest children
to my heart's content!
thanks yosemite sam!!
guys, but sometimes my
upper lip gets mighty
lonesome. its nice to know
that i too can molest children
to my heart's content!
thanks yosemite sam!!
the merlin:
this beard is freakin' magical!!!
the trent reznor:
the ruffage:
These two can either be used to curb your appetite, and block out the sun while you try to sleep, or you can
venture to what can only be described as the freaky deaky.
venture to what can only be described as the freaky deaky.
the patch job:
....hee hee... "patch job"
the furry friend:
you're on the internet right now... on
a very, very nerdy website, and
you're almost done with a blog about
me doing stupid shit with my hair. all
this boils down to the fact that you
must not have that many friends. but
who needs friends when you can just
make your own?!?!
everyone, meet monique! she's
been around for longer than i'd care
to admit.
a very, very nerdy website, and
you're almost done with a blog about
me doing stupid shit with my hair. all
this boils down to the fact that you
must not have that many friends. but
who needs friends when you can just
make your own?!?!
everyone, meet monique! she's
been around for longer than i'd care
to admit.
ok, thats it guys! do what you want with your fucking hair, i'm done talking about mine. hahaha, i'm sorry, but its
not easy to spend all that time lining everything up, and then come up with funny stuff to say when you're really
tired... i think most of those titles just sounded like sexual positions anyway... dear God, i don't wanna know what
getting a "yosemite sam" would be like when you think of it like that....
.... i have given out a few ruffages before- *wink wink*
not easy to spend all that time lining everything up, and then come up with funny stuff to say when you're really
tired... i think most of those titles just sounded like sexual positions anyway... dear God, i don't wanna know what
getting a "yosemite sam" would be like when you think of it like that....
.... i have given out a few ruffages before- *wink wink*
this is what my
hair looks like
now by the way.
its almost as
long, just
layered to
awesomeness.
some of the girls
at work say i
have mermaid
hair :)
also, my phone's
camera makes
me look like a
ghost... coast to
coast.
.... i have tiny
arms....
hair looks like
now by the way.
its almost as
long, just
layered to
awesomeness.
some of the girls
at work say i
have mermaid
hair :)
also, my phone's
camera makes
me look like a
ghost... coast to
coast.
.... i have tiny
arms....
| . |
7-28-10 Shazaam! Back with a blog!
oh world, here we are at long last. alone. no one and nothing to come between us... and
certainly not that pesky shift button! heavens no! what, did you think i was gonna take a
break for a year and come back with enough typing skills to whomp all up on this blog with
some capitalization? because that is certainly not the case. my typing skills are just as
abysmal as ever, and i rather enjoy the laid back feel of this set up.
so, yeah... a freakin' year! whoops. thanks to those of you that emailed me to make sure
i wasn't dead. and while i'm super sorry, i really did have good reason to stop doing them
at first. I was doing the whole being a carnie and livin' on the road thing and whatnot. and
at the time i only had clara, who was a desktop...not so portable. i did most of the story in
doodle form, so i don't wanna get too redundant on dat ass. i guess i can kinda fill in on
the details.
i'll start with this: moving can suck my ass. in little more than a year i've moved three
effing times. and you know what i'm doing right effing now? packing...to move...again. i
mean, i never wanted to move in the first place! see, my moms-in-law is the lady that
invented the bumpit...seriously. the blonde girl who is on the box...yeah, that's my
sister-in-law. so when i was carnie-ing it up, those are what i sold. and we kinda moved
around with the company. now we ended up settling in reno, which i totally dig on.
however, for a while we were living in santa cruz, ca....
ok-
i know a lot of you people are like "<3 oooooh beaches! tans! flip-flops!<3", and to those
people i say "eff the eff off". you can freakin' keep your purse skin and oppressive heat,
and groups of people hanging out in bathing suits....which i've never gotten by the way.
most people wouldn't be cool with strangers coming up and talking to them in their
underwear, or even hanging out with their friends if all they had on were their tiny bits, yet
everyone is cool with bathing suits....
THEY'RE THE SAME EFFIN' THING!!!
seriously, next time you go out on a family beach day, think about how your gran-gran is
in her effin' panties five feet in front of you, and you're totally ok with that. i don't get it. i
don't get it, and i don't want to get it. i haven't even owned a bathing suit in like 6 years
and the last one i owned was a two piece, with shorts on the bottom, and i wore a
spaghetti strap over the top. why? because you wear a fucking shirt in public. that's what
you do. you're in front of goddamn strangers, you wear some fucking clothes.
bah... i dunno... i know i'm an effin prude, sorry guys.... no, you know what? i'm not sorry.
modesty is pretty much lost today, so i'm ok with being a prude. i know that no one shares
my opinion on the matter, i've learned that... but this is my effing blog, so i get to say
things like that, and you have to read it if you wanna get to the part where i make fun of
hobos.
deal?... deal.
it's not even just the bathing suit thing. i'm just not fond of the beach or sun or heat in
general. I don't wear shorts or sandals, so beach going is a bitch, not even counting the
fact that i don't like water. AND-i tan easily and unevenly. i mean, most of me is pretty
pale, because i stay out of the sun as much as i can, but no matter what, my arms are gross
tan. someone with a tan could sneeze on my arm and it would get brown. so the coast
isn't my first pick of places to live to begin with...but santa cruz... oh man.
i don't think i can offend anyone from santa cruz with this. they know they're weird, and
they like it. but seriously, they're fuckin' weird. it's made up of hippies and hobos. there
are old men with ratty half-balding ponytails and tye-dye shirts on bikes EVERYWHERE, and
pedestrians like to play a game called "the crosswalk is lava". you can't talk to a local for
more than five minutes without them telling you that they made their pants out of organic
hemp, or asking you for change. you can't walk down the street without a homeless guy
staring into your soul, eyes ablaze with a passion that can only say "i know you have a
sandwich on you somewhere, and i will fight you for it". seriously. i got hit on by a hobo in
a pirate hat... that was made mostly of foil. it's like 1100$ to rent a room in someone's
house....and the traffic!! oooooh! the traffic is like the constipated bowels of satan. we
only ended up staying there for a month before headin' out reno way.
now reno, i like. nice cool weather. mostly older white people. freaking gorgeous
mountains everywhere you look. but times haven't been too great here in reno either. its
really far away from all of my friends, which was pretty hard on me. there's that, and the
fact that me and my old man are kinda splitsville now. which wasn't this big dramatic or
horrible thing, i'm not looking for sympathy at all. it just is what it is. i only say that
because it's bound to come up in doodle form one way or the other. i'm sure i'm going to
doodle about the experience of living by myself in my own place pretty soon. i'm stoked,
but i'm also buying a gun.....so double stoked? also, i'm doing this whole "adult" thing with
more ...adult...than i normally do...shuttup, that's why. i couldn't think of anything clever to
say there because the whole "grown-up" thing is still new to me. BUT- my credit score just
went up 60 points, so you can suck it! responsibility! yup, i see bounds of opportunity for
doodles about how i get freaked out with noises at night, and might almost shoot my dog,
or that i think i'm hot shit because i'm paying bills. things of the like. but you know what
will probably make for the worst experiences/best doodles?
dating.
NOT looking forward to that one. i've...kinda...sorta never dated before. when chris and
i got together it was kinda like "let's hang out...ok we're together now", which was totally
cool, i'm down for some hanging out, in fact i think i might prefer it, though i don't have
like a real "date" under my belt to judge it against. but yeah. he was kinda the only real
boyfriend i've ever had. and you know what i am around boys? AWKWARD. painfully
awkward. like, "get looks of sympathy from strangers because the conversation you're
having makes the whole room uncomfortable" awkward. but i guess that's ok for now.
we've only been split up for four months now, so i'm not really planning on doing much
dating in the near future. but it's there. like some sort of impending doom:
"tiiiffaaaaanyyyyyy, some guy is going to hold a door open for you and you're
probably going to trip over your foot as you waaaalk throooough it."
"tiiiiffaaaanyyyyyy, you're probably going to...no you ARE going to make an ass
of yourself while tryiiing to taaaaalk."
"and dooooon't even thiiink about looking cute for looong, you always spill
stuff on your cloooothes"
"booooooys, tiffany, BOOOOOYS! mwah hah hah hah!!!"
oh lord...see?!?! that's how scared i am! in my head the voice of dating is a fucking
ghost!
so, yeah... whenever that starts happening we'll get some good stories on how this:
certainly not that pesky shift button! heavens no! what, did you think i was gonna take a
break for a year and come back with enough typing skills to whomp all up on this blog with
some capitalization? because that is certainly not the case. my typing skills are just as
abysmal as ever, and i rather enjoy the laid back feel of this set up.
so, yeah... a freakin' year! whoops. thanks to those of you that emailed me to make sure
i wasn't dead. and while i'm super sorry, i really did have good reason to stop doing them
at first. I was doing the whole being a carnie and livin' on the road thing and whatnot. and
at the time i only had clara, who was a desktop...not so portable. i did most of the story in
doodle form, so i don't wanna get too redundant on dat ass. i guess i can kinda fill in on
the details.
i'll start with this: moving can suck my ass. in little more than a year i've moved three
effing times. and you know what i'm doing right effing now? packing...to move...again. i
mean, i never wanted to move in the first place! see, my moms-in-law is the lady that
invented the bumpit...seriously. the blonde girl who is on the box...yeah, that's my
sister-in-law. so when i was carnie-ing it up, those are what i sold. and we kinda moved
around with the company. now we ended up settling in reno, which i totally dig on.
however, for a while we were living in santa cruz, ca....
ok-
i know a lot of you people are like "<3 oooooh beaches! tans! flip-flops!<3", and to those
people i say "eff the eff off". you can freakin' keep your purse skin and oppressive heat,
and groups of people hanging out in bathing suits....which i've never gotten by the way.
most people wouldn't be cool with strangers coming up and talking to them in their
underwear, or even hanging out with their friends if all they had on were their tiny bits, yet
everyone is cool with bathing suits....
THEY'RE THE SAME EFFIN' THING!!!
seriously, next time you go out on a family beach day, think about how your gran-gran is
in her effin' panties five feet in front of you, and you're totally ok with that. i don't get it. i
don't get it, and i don't want to get it. i haven't even owned a bathing suit in like 6 years
and the last one i owned was a two piece, with shorts on the bottom, and i wore a
spaghetti strap over the top. why? because you wear a fucking shirt in public. that's what
you do. you're in front of goddamn strangers, you wear some fucking clothes.
bah... i dunno... i know i'm an effin prude, sorry guys.... no, you know what? i'm not sorry.
modesty is pretty much lost today, so i'm ok with being a prude. i know that no one shares
my opinion on the matter, i've learned that... but this is my effing blog, so i get to say
things like that, and you have to read it if you wanna get to the part where i make fun of
hobos.
deal?... deal.
it's not even just the bathing suit thing. i'm just not fond of the beach or sun or heat in
general. I don't wear shorts or sandals, so beach going is a bitch, not even counting the
fact that i don't like water. AND-i tan easily and unevenly. i mean, most of me is pretty
pale, because i stay out of the sun as much as i can, but no matter what, my arms are gross
tan. someone with a tan could sneeze on my arm and it would get brown. so the coast
isn't my first pick of places to live to begin with...but santa cruz... oh man.
i don't think i can offend anyone from santa cruz with this. they know they're weird, and
they like it. but seriously, they're fuckin' weird. it's made up of hippies and hobos. there
are old men with ratty half-balding ponytails and tye-dye shirts on bikes EVERYWHERE, and
pedestrians like to play a game called "the crosswalk is lava". you can't talk to a local for
more than five minutes without them telling you that they made their pants out of organic
hemp, or asking you for change. you can't walk down the street without a homeless guy
staring into your soul, eyes ablaze with a passion that can only say "i know you have a
sandwich on you somewhere, and i will fight you for it". seriously. i got hit on by a hobo in
a pirate hat... that was made mostly of foil. it's like 1100$ to rent a room in someone's
house....and the traffic!! oooooh! the traffic is like the constipated bowels of satan. we
only ended up staying there for a month before headin' out reno way.
now reno, i like. nice cool weather. mostly older white people. freaking gorgeous
mountains everywhere you look. but times haven't been too great here in reno either. its
really far away from all of my friends, which was pretty hard on me. there's that, and the
fact that me and my old man are kinda splitsville now. which wasn't this big dramatic or
horrible thing, i'm not looking for sympathy at all. it just is what it is. i only say that
because it's bound to come up in doodle form one way or the other. i'm sure i'm going to
doodle about the experience of living by myself in my own place pretty soon. i'm stoked,
but i'm also buying a gun.....so double stoked? also, i'm doing this whole "adult" thing with
more ...adult...than i normally do...shuttup, that's why. i couldn't think of anything clever to
say there because the whole "grown-up" thing is still new to me. BUT- my credit score just
went up 60 points, so you can suck it! responsibility! yup, i see bounds of opportunity for
doodles about how i get freaked out with noises at night, and might almost shoot my dog,
or that i think i'm hot shit because i'm paying bills. things of the like. but you know what
will probably make for the worst experiences/best doodles?
dating.
NOT looking forward to that one. i've...kinda...sorta never dated before. when chris and
i got together it was kinda like "let's hang out...ok we're together now", which was totally
cool, i'm down for some hanging out, in fact i think i might prefer it, though i don't have
like a real "date" under my belt to judge it against. but yeah. he was kinda the only real
boyfriend i've ever had. and you know what i am around boys? AWKWARD. painfully
awkward. like, "get looks of sympathy from strangers because the conversation you're
having makes the whole room uncomfortable" awkward. but i guess that's ok for now.
we've only been split up for four months now, so i'm not really planning on doing much
dating in the near future. but it's there. like some sort of impending doom:
"tiiiffaaaaanyyyyyy, some guy is going to hold a door open for you and you're
probably going to trip over your foot as you waaaalk throooough it."
"tiiiiffaaaanyyyyyy, you're probably going to...no you ARE going to make an ass
of yourself while tryiiing to taaaaalk."
"and dooooon't even thiiink about looking cute for looong, you always spill
stuff on your cloooothes"
"booooooys, tiffany, BOOOOOYS! mwah hah hah hah!!!"
oh lord...see?!?! that's how scared i am! in my head the voice of dating is a fucking
ghost!
so, yeah... whenever that starts happening we'll get some good stories on how this:
...is going to try to clean up in the
single world...should be fun.
single world...should be fun.
oh! also, skipper was kind enough to co-create this with dorothy for me. I applaud them
for their choice in background music. and at some point he got tired of trying to figure out
what the words were, and just wrote in "too black" for everything. be warned, it is totally
not safe for work. it drops "F" bombs in the shock and awe amount.
for their choice in background music. and at some point he got tired of trying to figure out
what the words were, and just wrote in "too black" for everything. be warned, it is totally
not safe for work. it drops "F" bombs in the shock and awe amount.
and there we have it. now i'm completely back on track. ya'll can't say that momma never
gave you nothin'. and now back to packing.
gave you nothin'. and now back to packing.
| . |
hi, my name is tiffany. did i ever mention that i am dreadfully awkward? oh, just a few
times, you say? well, much to my dismay it seems to be getting worse as i get older. but
never do i look as awkward as i do in pictures....well, i guess i wouldn't know, i can't really
see me, so i very well could look picture awkward all the time. dear sweet lord, i hope
not....anyways, when a camera comes along, i become woefully aware of how long and stupid
my limbs are. i mean, i'm not tall. i'm only about 5'3", but my arms and hands feel like they're
meant to be on an ent, and they don't hang as much as dangle. AND i'm totally pigeon toed.
like, tommy pickles status. plus i am absolutely not photogenic in the first place. I could look
as good as i can in real life, but if you were to try and capture it i would come out looking like
a manatee with down's syndrome and three chins. it's just what happens. so unless i am the
one taking my own picture, or i am completely cheesing it up, i end up looking horribly
uncomfortable.
so, my good friend skipper is up this week....actually, lemme side note before i move on
here:
now, from my understanding, when most people come to vacation spots in nevada, they
plan on doing the whole casino/drinking/brothel/STD thing. i, however, have been in reno
for almost a year, and had yet to step foot in a casino other than to eat. and it's not even that
i disapprove of gambling. in fact, gambling is about the only heathen adult thing i partake in,
mostly because i just do the penny machines and it just feels arcade games. i also hadn't
been to lake tahoe, which is only like 45 minutes away from where i live. nor have i taken to
the brothels, which is kind of a given.... this is all due to the fact that left to my own, i will stay
indoors all day. and no one had come up to visit me until skipper came up.
so while he's been up, i've actually been doing typical reno things. i went downtown for
the first time and got to see the reno sign. which is kinda where the whole "i'm bad at taking
pictures" thing comes into play. we were walking downtown and i made mention of the fact
that i had been there for a year and had yet to see that sign. so i thought to take a picture of
it, being that reno has kinda been my home for a while, and i'm due to leave it soon. well, as
skipper took a picture i thought that chances were that it was an awful picture, so i asked
him to take a couple, and then the whole awkward thing set in. the result was a treasure
trove of awful uncomfortable looking pictures. which you get to see!!
times, you say? well, much to my dismay it seems to be getting worse as i get older. but
never do i look as awkward as i do in pictures....well, i guess i wouldn't know, i can't really
see me, so i very well could look picture awkward all the time. dear sweet lord, i hope
not....anyways, when a camera comes along, i become woefully aware of how long and stupid
my limbs are. i mean, i'm not tall. i'm only about 5'3", but my arms and hands feel like they're
meant to be on an ent, and they don't hang as much as dangle. AND i'm totally pigeon toed.
like, tommy pickles status. plus i am absolutely not photogenic in the first place. I could look
as good as i can in real life, but if you were to try and capture it i would come out looking like
a manatee with down's syndrome and three chins. it's just what happens. so unless i am the
one taking my own picture, or i am completely cheesing it up, i end up looking horribly
uncomfortable.
so, my good friend skipper is up this week....actually, lemme side note before i move on
here:
now, from my understanding, when most people come to vacation spots in nevada, they
plan on doing the whole casino/drinking/brothel/STD thing. i, however, have been in reno
for almost a year, and had yet to step foot in a casino other than to eat. and it's not even that
i disapprove of gambling. in fact, gambling is about the only heathen adult thing i partake in,
mostly because i just do the penny machines and it just feels arcade games. i also hadn't
been to lake tahoe, which is only like 45 minutes away from where i live. nor have i taken to
the brothels, which is kind of a given.... this is all due to the fact that left to my own, i will stay
indoors all day. and no one had come up to visit me until skipper came up.
so while he's been up, i've actually been doing typical reno things. i went downtown for
the first time and got to see the reno sign. which is kinda where the whole "i'm bad at taking
pictures" thing comes into play. we were walking downtown and i made mention of the fact
that i had been there for a year and had yet to see that sign. so i thought to take a picture of
it, being that reno has kinda been my home for a while, and i'm due to leave it soon. well, as
skipper took a picture i thought that chances were that it was an awful picture, so i asked
him to take a couple, and then the whole awkward thing set in. the result was a treasure
trove of awful uncomfortable looking pictures. which you get to see!!
m'kay, this is the
first one. not too
terrible, but that's
because i'm doing
something cheesy,
and i didn't want to
be doing the
thumbs up thing in
all of the pictures
in case that didn't
really work. on the
whole, this is about
as good as i can
look in pictures.
first one. not too
terrible, but that's
because i'm doing
something cheesy,
and i didn't want to
be doing the
thumbs up thing in
all of the pictures
in case that didn't
really work. on the
whole, this is about
as good as i can
look in pictures.
normally i look
like this!
like this!
....or this....
...or this.
ok, since the first picture
didn't have the whole sign
in it, this was the best
picture i could get.
this.
seriously.
ok, let's do a close up of
that, so you can let the
whole wave of awkward
wash over you, because i
don't think you get it at a
distance...
ok, since the first picture
didn't have the whole sign
in it, this was the best
picture i could get.
this.
seriously.
ok, let's do a close up of
that, so you can let the
whole wave of awkward
wash over you, because i
don't think you get it at a
distance...
ok...
keep in mind here:
I WAS TRYING TO LOOK GOOD!!
i didn't try to look like this! i
seriously thought that i would look
cute :(
i think that the only way i could
look more uncomfortable is if my
naked dad was the one who took
the picture
skipper and I have decided that i
need to take all of my pictures like
this from now on.
keep in mind here:
I WAS TRYING TO LOOK GOOD!!
i didn't try to look like this! i
seriously thought that i would look
cute :(
i think that the only way i could
look more uncomfortable is if my
naked dad was the one who took
the picture
skipper and I have decided that i
need to take all of my pictures like
this from now on.
i didn't used to be that bad at taking pictures!!! i don't know what happened to me. it's
awful...
anyways, the next morning i came up with the best idea ever: cocoa pebbles, made
with chocolate milk.... yeah. it was fucking amazing! i took one bite, and told skipper "i
need to blog about this". and really that's what started this whole thing, because i knew i
needed a picture of the awesome breakfast for the blog. but when i looked through all of
them, i realized i should really blog about how unfortunate-looking i am. people would
much rather laugh AT someone, than with them.
awful...
anyways, the next morning i came up with the best idea ever: cocoa pebbles, made
with chocolate milk.... yeah. it was fucking amazing! i took one bite, and told skipper "i
need to blog about this". and really that's what started this whole thing, because i knew i
needed a picture of the awesome breakfast for the blog. but when i looked through all of
them, i realized i should really blog about how unfortunate-looking i am. people would
much rather laugh AT someone, than with them.
So first i thought "maybe if i
pretend i'm not taking a
picture, then i wont come out
looking like a total retard".
pretend i'm not taking a
picture, then i wont come out
looking like a total retard".
and THAT certainly wasn't the
case.
then skip said "you know,
you're making normal faces
until RIGHT before i take the
picture".
so i said "maybe if i try to
make the most awkward face
possible right before you take
it, it'll work out!".....
case.
then skip said "you know,
you're making normal faces
until RIGHT before i take the
picture".
so i said "maybe if i try to
make the most awkward face
possible right before you take
it, it'll work out!".....
that REALLY didn't
work.
then skipper thought
to turn the camera at
an angle, and i thought
it would work because
it might make me look
more dangerous and
edgy. dangerous and
edgy people certainly
don't look awkward...
work.
then skipper thought
to turn the camera at
an angle, and i thought
it would work because
it might make me look
more dangerous and
edgy. dangerous and
edgy people certainly
don't look awkward...
or do they?
so in my last attempt
to take a decent
picture, i decided to
wear an outfit that
might balance out my
hat (which i was
wearing because i
thought it might
balance out the
awkward...and make
the cereal
better...which it did!)
so in my last attempt
to take a decent
picture, i decided to
wear an outfit that
might balance out my
hat (which i was
wearing because i
thought it might
balance out the
awkward...and make
the cereal
better...which it did!)
and so i did
when i saw
lake tahoe for
the first time...
(which is
effing
gorgeous by
the way!! it's
coldish! so i
can enjoy it.)
i eventually
wanna get
pictures like
this all across
america.
when i saw
lake tahoe for
the first time...
(which is
effing
gorgeous by
the way!! it's
coldish! so i
can enjoy it.)
i eventually
wanna get
pictures like
this all across
america.
and, no...no that didn't
really work either, did it?
really work either, did it?
so yeah...there we have it. a blog made so you guys can laugh at my face and lack of self
esteem. yay for not taking myself seriously!
and i'm fully aware that this blog is mostly just pictures of me, so i hope you guys don't
think me to be vain. i'm really rather not, the only reason why i put all of these pictures up
is because i think i look completely abominable in them. it's not a "look at me, i'm hot" thing
at all. it's much more of a "look at me, my inability to take a decent picture is grand enough
to be documented, please laugh at my face" thing. really, i only put up pictures of me to
display something, or if i think it's funny. and i only do that because i personally like it when
people on bloggish websites put up pictures of themselves. it makes me feel like i can
relate to them a bit more. i like that bit of personality. so basically it's a "do unto others"
jazz-type thing.
esteem. yay for not taking myself seriously!
and i'm fully aware that this blog is mostly just pictures of me, so i hope you guys don't
think me to be vain. i'm really rather not, the only reason why i put all of these pictures up
is because i think i look completely abominable in them. it's not a "look at me, i'm hot" thing
at all. it's much more of a "look at me, my inability to take a decent picture is grand enough
to be documented, please laugh at my face" thing. really, i only put up pictures of me to
display something, or if i think it's funny. and i only do that because i personally like it when
people on bloggish websites put up pictures of themselves. it makes me feel like i can
relate to them a bit more. i like that bit of personality. so basically it's a "do unto others"
jazz-type thing.
8-7-10 I think I could set a world record for bad picture taking...